Missing but Not Always Missed

By Jeremy Reynalds, Ph.D.

Founder and CEO

Joy Junction Inc.
A well known but controversial country song contains these lyrics, “He was a missing person who nobody missed at all.”

That started me thinking about America’s missing homeless, and whether anyone misses them. The answer seemed pretty obvious on at least a couple of Facebook pages  that I checked out.

But how about our Joy Junction guests? I wanted to know if they felt they would be missed should they go missing. We asked a few of them.

One guest said, “My mom would probably notice after about a month, and she would most likely miss me for awhile. I have friend, or more accurately I have acquaintances, that would maybe notice I didn’t show up for appointments, (but) very few would miss me and not for long.”

He added, “So many people come into and out of our lives that especially in this setting we learn to keep a distance emotionally, as not to be hurt ourselves. We have to enjoy those we meet while they are in our lives, however long that may be. Then try to move on, praying they will be safe and well.”

Bernardo said he doesn’t think anyone would miss him. “They say I am too mean, and do not understand them. They do not take the time to get to know me. They judge me and do not trust me, so they do not want me around them and my kids. Oh well, God bless them anyway. I still love them all with my all.”

One person said, “I would like to think that one or two people would miss me. However, the reality is that not one will remember me, because this place is temporary and the way everyone thinks is a temporary mind set.”

Timothy said his wife would miss him a lot because they are the love of each other’s lives. He thought some of his family would also miss him because he is their brother, son and father. However, he didn’t think his friends would care that much.

Stephanie said if she was to go missing it would be good to experience the assurance she would be missed by her family and close friends.

She added, “I know that they say ‘I love you and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you,’ but I truly can’t speak for them as how they truly feel.”

However, she is comforted by this. “What I do know without a shadow of doubt is that God loves me so much that the very hairs on my head are all numbered.”

Glenda said she doesn’t think anyone outside her immediate family would miss her, because “I don’t go anywhere but shopping, and we just stay home.”

However, she feels loved by her husband, her friends, and also her sister. “If I here to lose my husband I would really miss him, because he is always with me. I would feel lonely without him.”

Drew said she would be greatly missed and her experience spoke to that.

After leaving Joy Junction for awhile, she said “When I returned, they all told me they were worried and cared about me. I know for a fact that I am a good person. I am strong, dependable, kind, understanding, beautiful inside and out. People respect me for who I am, for my ability to do a good job at whatever I am doing overall.”

One person said if she went missing her fiance and her kids “would be shocked and going crazy.”

Sophia said a lot of people a lot of people would miss her if she went missing.

Reflecting on her husband, she said they do everything together, and if he was to go missing she would miss him more than anything in the world.

And her children? That was a sad story.

“My kids would miss me, even though we have not talked in over three years. My youngest son was missing me bad that it started reflecting on his grades at school. Now that we talk, his grades went up and he joined the baseball team.

“My oldest son is still hurt, but he wants me to be sober for one year before I can be in contact with him. He did say that he still loves me, and it hurts him to have to tell me that he didn’t want me in his life till I was sober one year.”

Monique said if she was to go missing she would definitely be missed.

“I did go missing and when I got back, I had a missing person’s report. My family had a look on their face like they were worrying an awful lot. I do not want my family to worry about me like that again.”

Tomas said he would be missed. “I know this because my family tells me they miss me, and I am not even missing. My wife misses me when I am at work. My family and wife love me and care about me, and want me in their life and around them.”

Marcos said he believes he would be missed, and his wife and kids would be “devastated and hurt.”

He added, “This is why I have spoke with them to cherish every second we have with each other, family and friends … So let’s not wait for someone to go missing to show that we care; let’s start to care for all those who God puts before us (in case they) go missing.”

Good words, Marcos. So how about you? Would you be missed if you went missing? It’s worth thinking about.